"Hooray for Captain Spaulding"

(Jamison/Zeppo)
There's something that I'd like to say,
That he's too modest to relay.
The Captain is a moral man.
Sometimes he finds it trying.

(Spaulding/Groucho)
This fact I emphasize with stress,
I never take a drink unless - Somebody's buying.

(All)
The Captain is a very moral man.

(Jamison/Zeppo)
If he hears anything obscene, He'll naturally repel it.

(Spaulding/Groucho)
I hate a dirty joke I do,
Unless it's told by someone who -
Knows how to tell it.

(All)
The Captain is a very moral man.
Hooray for Captain Spaulding, The African explorer.

(Spaulding/Groucho)
Did someone call me Shnorrer?

(All)
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray.

(Jamison/Zeppo)
He went into the jungle where all the monkeys throw nuts.

(Spaulding/Groucho)
If I stay here I'll go nuts.

(All)
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray.
He put all his reliance, In courage and defiance,
And risked his life for science.

(Spaulding/Groucho)
Hey, hey.

(Mrs. Rittenhouse/Margaret Dumont)
You are the only white man to cover every acre.

(Spaulding/Groucho)
I think I'll try and make her.

(All)
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray.
He put all his reliance, In courage and defiance,
And risked his life for science.

(Spaulding/Groucho)
Hey, hey.

(All)
Hooray for Captain Spaulding, The African explorer.
He brought his name undying fame
And that is why we say, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!

(Spaulding/Groucho attempts to speak)
My friends, I am highly gratified at this magnificent display of effusion and I want
you to know...

(All)
Hooray for Captain Spaulding, The African explorer.
He brought his name undying fame
And that is why we say, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!

(Spaulding/Groucho)
My friends, I am highly gratified at this magnificent display of effusion and I want
you to know...
Hooray for Captain Spaulding, The African Inquirer.
Well, somebody's gotta do it!